This is going to raise a few hackles. Indeed, I might find a few major supermarket chains on my case for this. So if you see a man being chased through the streets of Bristol by lawyers brandishing huge comedy hammers... that'll probably be me. But while this country still has freedom of speech, I think it's only right for me to speak about these topics. I want to tell you about how supermarkets are ruining our food... And how you can choose ..

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Last night my friend Al pushed his plate of food away, uneaten. Now this is a rare occurrence for Al. He's a big man around 6ft and about 15 stone and he loves his food. But after one bite, it seemed he'd had enough. 'Damn,' he said. 'I forgot.' We all stared down at his plate of chicken. Even the waiter came over and joined in. 'Is everything all right sir?' he asked. 'Yes. I mean no. I mean... it's just that I ordered chicken. Sorry.' Th ..

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Can things get any worse...? Last week I discovered I had Emerging Grey Hair Disorder and was suffering from Ageing... This week I discover I'm turning into a snake. All right, I'm exaggerating but my holiday tan is fading and my skin is finally starting to peel. I feel like that scientist from The Fly. Except his kids didn't go 'Urrgggggh... DAD!' every time they saw him. Still, I guess I just have to accept it. There's really not much yo ..

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If the health police had their way, caffeine would be classified as a class A drug. Kitchen doors would be kicked down and users like me would be hauled in for questioning... ...and Lara would be facing 14 years in jail for possession every time she left Tesco's with two jars of Nescafe. Honestly, the reaction to caffeine is so strong I worry about people sometimes. I remember an American lady I met a few years back who practically threw Holy ..

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When you think of the word 'cyanide', what images do you conjure up? Is it an Agatha Christie villain creeping through a mansion with a vial of poison, hoping to knock off a rich heiress? Is it the notorious Nazi, Herman Goering, slipping that fatal pill into his mouth to escape hanging at Nuremberg? Or do you think of the humble apricot? If you've thought of cyanide only as history's most famous poison... then you might be in for a surprise. ..

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I've had an idea for a trashy cable television programme... It's called, 'When health foods go BAD.' It could be presented by one of those disgraced exchildren's TV presenters who get caught taking drugs. Each week they'd show dramatic clips of people being ill from food the government and advertisers claimed was good for them. The presenter could end each programme saying, 'Is YOUR favourite health food next?' Okay, okay, it's a bad idea... ..

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I don't know if this is a sign of things to come... But I've been staring blankly at the screen for the past hour trying to get today's letter started. Lara's even hoovered round me like I'm a piece of old furniture. 'Maybe you should just take me to the junk shop down the road,' I said, 'You might get a fiver for me.' 'Yes,' she agreed, 'but that's only because you have £4.50 in your pocket.' Anyway, to kickstart my brain, I've just followe ..

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If you saw me today, you'd be pretty shocked... My hair's sticking out at strange angles... there are bags under my eyes... my shirt is covered in sweat...and bits of furniture are lying all over the place. Yes, a hurricane struck the Collins household last night and it was tough going for all of us. Its name was 'Ruth', my overworked, underpaid, targetobsessed sisterinlaw. By the time she arrived for dinner, an hour late, she was stressed fr ..

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In The Good Life Letter, I often like to take a stroll off the beaten track of conventional thought. I mean, if you wanted me to advise 8 glasses of water and bed rest for every ailment, you could just pick up the health pages of your daily tabloid, couldn't you? There'd be no need for me or my strange facts! So I hope you don't mind me taking you on a brief journey into a subject that makes sceptical scientists weep. And yet many people beli ..

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Being Welsh, I wouldn't normally flag up St. George's Day. But my wife is English. And my kids are half English. So they started a campaign to make me mention it. Then Lara said that I should see myself as a kind of George figure, fighting the dragon of ill health and misinformation. Even though she was blatantly massaging my ego, that clinched it for me. That's why today's letter is called: 'Saint Ray of Bristol vs. the Lilly Livered Drag ..

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