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A funny story with a dark message for us all…
15 December 2006
I should have been born in the Victorian age…
Because if I'm honest, I just don't like computers.
Take last Sunday. I spent a blissfully quiet hour writing to you to tell you about something I've found that I think you'll really like. I crossed the 'I's' and dotted the 'T's (you can see how much attention I paid at school), and pressed send with a satisfied flourish.
But something happened. And the letter never got sent.
I still don't know what that 'something' was. And I'm scared that if I try and find out, I'll end up being sucked into my laptop and fighting for my life against cyber-villains, like that guy in the film 'Tron'.
(Do you remember that film…? When I first saw that I thought it was more documentary than fiction - that's how suspicious I am of computers).
So, apologies for not sending you anything last Sunday. But hopefully everything's back to normal now that I've sworn at my laptop and pushed the on/off switch a couple of times.
(That's all I.T. people do, isn't it?).
Still, after reading the following at least I know I'm not the only one who suffers from computer problems…
Though in this case, that's cold comfort indeed…
Is Sid James in charge of the NHS?
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Here's a new story line for a Carry On film...
In an attempt to help people give up smoking, doctors across the country prescribe a wonder drug called Zyban. But in a hilarious mix up, the wrong button is pressed, and patients are prescribed Viagra!
Ooooh Matron!
Well would you believe this is something that actually happened up in Glasgow?
Apparently, due to a 'computer glitch' about 900 GPs at 300 surgeries have been sent emails warning them of the mix up.
Now, there's no need for alarm. A statement released by the NHS said that all prescriptions are “subject to stringent double-checking by both prescribing doctors and pharmacy staff.”
Or was that statement just sent out by a malfunctioning computer?
Anyway the upshot is, only two people so far have come to forward to say they have the wrong drug.
So crisis averted. And anyway, it's Viagra we're talking about here... it's all a bit of nudge-nudge, wink-wink harmless fun, isn't it?
That's certainly how the papers have portrayed it anyway.
But I think this has far darker implications…
Hmmmm, I think that's what it's called...
Okay, so this time Viagra was sent out by mistake. And with the amount of publicity it's had over the years, I would guess that's an easy name to spot - and an easy mistake to rectify.
But what if you wanted to give up smoking, and was handed a packet of doxorubicin, a powerful cancer drug? Would you know you weren't meant to have that?
I certainly wouldn't.
Ibuprofen, aspirin, Viagra and members of the Welsh Rugby squad are about the only names I can remember.
Oh yes and whassername…
Lara. And the kids, of course.
But if I were someone who relied blindly on drugs, someone who was totally at ease with taking whatever I was given, nine times out of ten I wouldn't have a clue.
I'd pick up my prescription and pop the pills without a second thought. So this kind of blunder is worrying.
Now - I'm not for a minute suggesting you stop seeing your doctor or taking drugs your doctor prescribes.
But I truly believe that looking at natural remedies just makes so much sense - ESPECIALLY for ailments that can be cured without the need for prescription drugs.
And in my book, smoking is one of those ailments.
Here are some remedies you might like to try, or pass onto someone who could do with a helping hand:
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A cola that's actually good for you
- Gotu Cola has been used as a medicinal herb for thousands of years in India - and is said to help control the imbalance in your body's chemical make-up that occurs when you have an addiction. Gota Cola could also dull your sugar cravings, which go through the roof when you pack up smoking.
N.B. Gotu Cola does NOT contain caffeine, unlike the Kola nut, which is an active ingredient in the fizzy drink.
- Try St. John's Wort and Scuttelaria for depression and mood swings.
This is an area that so many people overlook when trying to quit smoking, but think about it… one of the worst things about giving up smoking is how down it makes you feel. And when you feel down, you reach for the fags.
These two substances should help you battle the anxiety and mood swings that you're bound to suffer when you try and kick the habit.
- Take magnesium to make smoking feel less good.
When nicotine is taken, the brain releases a chemical called dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical. After a while, you get used to this pleasurable release, and want more of it.
So you have another cigarette.
But by taking magnesium, you can increase your natural levels of dopamine, and take the edge of your cravings.
- Ashwagandha - back to India again, for a herb considered by many to be one of the most powerful and useful Ayurvedic remedies.
Sometimes referred to as the Indian Ginseng, it improves immunity, and helps your body cope with chemical stresses - which is exactly what it's going through when you give up smoking.
And guess what… ashwagandha increases dopamine as well.
That's it from me for today. In a moment of madness I promised Lara I'd take the family out shopping, and I think the straightjacket and cattle prod are almost ready.
Though why I have to spend hours in the cold getting run over by cycle couriers when I could shop on-line in comfort with a nice glass of red wine in front of me is anybody's guess.
On second thoughts, maybe that's not such a good idea.
I'd go and order a golf club for my father in-law, only for a package of Viagra to turn up at his house with 'Have a great Christmas, love Ray' written on it.
The mind shudders.
Have a great weekend, enjoy yourself, and I'll be back on Sunday if my computer lets me.
Until then,
Yours as ever,
Ray Collins
The Good Life Letter
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